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Monday, February 27, 2012

New Jersey White Boy's Rap of the Week: Fried or Fertilized by Turquoise Jeep Records


Last week, I referenced Turquoise Jeep Records, and a couple of weeks before that Dear Editor-in-Chief Steve also mentioned Turquoise Jeep in an article (links to the articles are included. Click them. Read them. Share them). However, I was surprised that in the long and storied history of Frogs on a Log in a Bog Musicpad Blog that no one had actually wrote an article discussing this obviously influential group. Well, influential to the FoaLiaBMB staff. Anyway, I’m here to correct this travesty.

Turquoise Jeep Records is a hip hop and R&B collective based in New York City. Created in 2009 by Flynt Flossy and Whatchyamacallit (pronounced what-cha-ma-call-it), they signed more and more singers and rappers until they reached their current lineup. The current members of TJR are Pretty Raheem, Slick Mahony, Yung Humma and Tummi Scratch Beats in the booth, along with Flynt Flossy Whatchyamacallit. Gregory Winters and Flynt Flossy direct all of their videos, and have a very distinctive visual style, usually involving song-specific dance moves and/or low-end special effects.

The earliest recorded sighting of Turquoise Jeep Records was on March 15, 2009, when Flynt Flossy and Whatchyamacallit released their first song and music video. But they didn’t gain national fame until the winter of 2010, when their banger “Lemme Smang it” was posted on College Humor’s website. Steve introduced me to Turquoise Jeep on my birthday by showing me a few of their videos, and it was one of my favorite birthday gifts ever. It was so great because this was the day that I officially turned into a pseudo-hipster (the minimum requirement to be a writer for this blog).

Like I said last week, on the surface, there’s no reason to like Turquoise Jeep Records. They’re that group from the 80’s that you look back and say “how did anyone like these guys?”. Everything about them is candied and silly and pure 80’s pop hip-hop/R&B. Tummiscratch’s beats usually have this familiar ring to them, like he lifted them from other, more popular rap songs (most notably “Lemme Smang it” and “Drop It Like It’s Hot” by Snoop Dogg), and the lack of cursing gives it a safe, radio friendly vibe (if you ignore how every song is obviously about boning). Not to mention the clothes and effects used in the videos. But it’s because of this that I, along with all those who keep the jeep ridin’, love them.

Those of you that know me (and, if you’re reading this article, chances that you do), you know that I’m a huge fan of the Jeep, going so far as buying their album and a sweet tee shirt. I mean, just based on the length of this article, it’s clear I love them. And the reason I love them so much is the fact that they embrace the cheese. Many of the songs that have videos have a specific, and awesome, dance move associated with it. The Licky-Sticky Pushup, the Fried or Fertalized Egg Flip, the Go Grab My Belt Smack, the Lemme Smang Fusion (which was used in Beyonce’s “Girls” video), and the Why I Gotta Wait Freak Call are all designed, much like all song-specific dance moves from the late 80’s and 90’s, are designed to be easy to do, but make you look awesome when you put your own flair to them. Not to mention the accompanying music videos themselves; the production values are low, but Turquoise Jeep uses this to their (comedic) advantage. They know exactly what they’re doing, and they have mastered it.

Furthermore, they’re just so much fun to listen to. You’re not a human being if you don’t laugh the first time or 2 you go listen through a new Jeep song. Every song they have just puts you in a good mood based solely on the silliness of the lyrics. And their personalities are fantastic; how could you not love a dude who calls everyone “baby”, or a guy who uses 2 fingers to point? And that facial hair. My god, that facial hair. Everything about these guys is crafted to just make you smile and have a good time.

They also complement each other, which is important in any group with such diverse talent. Flynt Flossy is featured on almost every song, and gives them a comical, but more traditional rap sound that is needed to ground these songs. Yung Humma gives his songs a “I’m gonna fuck your bitch because I’m better than you”. This makes his songs slightly aggressive, and really gives his music an edge. Whatchyamacallit’s sexy voice has this slightly Marvin Gay quality to it, both vocally and what you should be doing while it’s playing (It’s sex. You should be doing sex). Slick Mahony’s fantastic falsetto and child molester look makes everything he does so creepy and funny, but gives a more exciting sexuality to the track, as opposed to Whatchyamacallit’s more soulful sensuality. Pretty Raheem’s confidence comes through both in his lyrics and his voice, making him the straight man of the group, but also as the wingman for the group. And when these people mix and match, something beautiful is created. They support each other on lyrical level, and can give a song an added oomph to get it into that catchy, awesome realm that each song seems to reach.

Finally, the reason I love them is that they are actually talented. Yes, their beats are fairly banal, but all of the instrumentals are perfectly crafted to match the lyrics and helps give each song the right feeling, from the slow, sensual grove on “Go Grab My Belt” to the dirty loudness of “Lemme Smang It” to the fun club beat of “Did I Mention I Like to Dance”. And Yung Humma is a lyrical genius, with lines like “Gotta focus mama, you don’t wanna get a cooch contusion” and “When I say fried, I’m talking breakfast eggs/But when I fertilize, those the eggs between the legs”. Who else thinks of this stuff, then actually says it? And let’s not forget about the F. Floss’s sick dance moves. He has 2 short tutorials on how to dance like him, and “Did I Mention I Like to Dance” has him showing off those sweet, sweet moves for 3 minutes. Slick Mahony’s falsetto and ability write lyrics that are just creepy enough blow me away every time I hear them. Pretty Raheem and Whatchyamacallit have amazing voices, and know how to make sure they don’t stray too far outside of where they’re supposed to be.

It was hard for me to decide on a particular song to share, but I chose “Fried or Fertilized” not only because it was the first song I heard by them, but also because it perfectly encapsulates what Turquoise Jeep is, from the random clips to the crazy dance moves to the strange actions of the singers to the hilarious lyrics. But please, listen to their entire collection (except for “Stretchy Pants” and “Wifey Boo”; they suck), including the 2 singles off their forthcoming sophomore album. There’s not enough love I can show for the Jeep, you feel me baby? This article is well over 1,200 words, and I feel like I could have written more. So please, stop reading this and look these guys up.

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